I before E
except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour
“English doesn’t borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.”
― James Nicoll
if you think Toothless is all cat and no dog and call him a “flying cat” or “dragon kitty” in response to something he does you’ve probably never owned both cats and dogs???? he is a mix of the two
dog and cat (my dog LOVES lasers, my cat doesn’t)
cat, then dog
in conclusion, Toothless does dog-like things in a cat-like manner
Hes the best of both worlds
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
your bird is an asshole
I laughed so hard I almost got kicked out of the theatre because of this fuck you Fury
When I watched it the whole theatre was in stitches.
me: I’ll never cry again, I’ll never cry again, I’ll never cry again.
me after 10 minutes : *crying*
You could replace “cry” with literally anything and it would still be accurate
I am 28% sarcasm and 72% self loathing.
are you dean winchester
EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT STUFF FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
get off my post
You don’t have to lash out
these puns are far too cornea
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.
I warned you
remember there is a spider that can spin a web thick enough to stop a train, and scientists have figured out how to record our dreams so we can re watch them. u probably have a couple of mongolian war lord atoms in u and a hummingbird can recall every single flower it has visited. there is so much to know and find out if we keep on living. u can do it friends :)